How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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