if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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