It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
