I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
