It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
