Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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