she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
