Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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