its not stalking. its research.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
where are my eyebrows?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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