well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
