I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
