I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
