I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i came on her dog
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
