She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
