ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
