Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
