I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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