I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My vagina is officially offended.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
