How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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