thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
