in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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