Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
