So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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