He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
