Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
