I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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