"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
