suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
