I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
