Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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