these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
