the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
