im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
