Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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