The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My vagina is officially offended.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
