bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
