It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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