I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
