the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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