ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
How does one acquire holy water?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
