Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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