Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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