My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Two words: nipple clamps
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