And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
