normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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