If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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