Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
