uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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