It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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