the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
