Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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