He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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